Quantum of Solace: Reviewed

James Bond? More like James Bland!

The newest James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, starts with a high-intensity car chase only to be let down eventually by low-intensity Bond babes. Good locations and great cinematography don’t make up for a weak script with hardly any smart-ass dialogues typical of a Bond movie. A lack of chemistry between Bond & his women also manages to bring down the movie after some great action scenes.

Daniel Craig though, continues to remain a good choice for Bond with a decent performance. Viewers can see his transformation from a rugged and raw personality with a heart (as in Casino Royale) into an icy-cold MI6 agent who still doesn’t have his licence to kill.

The movie does have its moments, primarily with a well choreographed opera sequence. The lack of gadgets makes you wonder if it’s still a Bond movie you’re watching though.

Overall, a decent flick, but one that fails to live up to the Bond franchise.

Rating: 2 stars out of 5.

Shut up and Slip!?

Here’s a bit of funny news. During the shooting of Shut Up And Bounce, the new hot track from Dostana, Shilpa Shetty kept trying to put her hands around John Abraham and to her dismay kept slipping and falling on her knees. Now that is some slip. Plus this happened way more than once.

The reason for this is because, the song was being shot on a beach and John did not want to get tanned. Hence he emptied an entire bottle of sun block to help him. Now with so much sun block, forget Shilpa, even a lizard would not get a grip on his abs. The sequence was finally completed after John rubbed off some of the lotion andShilpa got her big brother grip on.

Drona fails, Eros sacks

Goldie Behl’s dream project Drona, starring his childhood friend Abhishek Bachchan and Priyanka Chopra has been such a disaster at the box-office, that the producers of the film Eros International is starting to it’s sack employees.

A lot of employees have been given a month’s notice and have been asked to resign right after that. The losses incurred by Eros have been pegged at 30 crores, of the emotional trauma suffered by people who actually sat through the entire three hour hocus pocus, I can’t even imagine a figure.

Eros is so badly injured that they have even backed out of another high octane project they had put their feet in. Looks like Eros has learned a bit of an expensive lesson.

Randeep and Nandana do not get along

Randeep Hooda and Nandana Sen, who play the lead roles in Rang Rasiya have to be Bollywood’s best actors as they don’t share a quarter of the chemistry in reality as they do on screen. The two of them apparently don’t t get along at all.

At a recent screening of the film at the London Film Festival, the two hardly spoke to each other. Nandanawas busy interacting with her noble prize winner dad,Amartya Sen and his friend and economist Lord Meghnand Desai. Randeep, in the meanwhile was in his own space. This complete lack of camaraderie continued at a Sri Lankan fundraiser where both of them were present.

When queried, Nandana said, that she was so glad her dad made it for the screening that she did not have time for anyone else. Randeep on the other hand attached a much bigger picture to this 12th million case of star wars, and said that since people all over the world were fighting, they were merely playing the roles…

Right!

Salman Ripped

Salman Khan is leaving no stone unturned to make sure his dream project Veer, which has been in his head for the past 15 years, has him looking his best. So like the other post 40 hunks, he too has gotten himself ripped and now sports a six pack. He has been working on this distinct look for a lot of time now, and the result is for everyone to see. Salman has also grown his hair to portray the character of a tribesman, who does not yield to the Britishers. Veer, will be a period movie set around 1860.

Salman gave up rice and fried foods altogether and relied only on boiled chicken to achieve this totally macho look. Now all that’s left of him to do is act. Let’s see where that goes. The pessimistic rats that we are, we’re not expecting much.

Priyanka strikes gold

Priyanka Chopra’s long wait for a hit movie this year is finally over. With the release of Madhur Bhandarkar’s latest scandalous tale of things, Fashion, she can finally put the bubonic plague of releases she signed on through the year like Love Story 2050 and God Tussi Great Ho behind her.

But it wasn’t the script alone that led Priyanka’s hand into signing the dotted line. The former Miss World insisted on getting Madhur’s horoscope checked by a professionalJyotish to make sure that Fashion doesn’t bomb at the Box Office And it looks like the black stars that shape her fortune are favouring her at the moment. The movie seems to be doing pretty well and has successfully put Priyanka back on the Bollywood map.

In other news, Priyanka was busy doing an imitation of Madhur on the sets of Fashion and is apparently pretty good at it. Finally something she can put next to “good with animals” and “six months of Thai cooking lessons” on that staggering list of housewife hobbies she calls a resume.

Kaka makes a comeback Emraan style!

Yesteryear’s superstar Rajesh Khanna has made a comeback of sorts and has chosen a steamy thriller with a Pakistani actress half his age to complete the motion sickness. He is starring in a movie called Waafa with actress, Saara Khan. The movie is being directed by outspoken Rakhi Sawant’s almost unknown brother Rakesh Sawant. The movie boasts of some steamy bedroom sequences and a full blown smooch between Kaka and Saara.

When asked if it was justified for him to do things like these, which are well beyond his age, time and sensibility, Kaka, replied in perfect Emraan Hashmi style, that the script demanded the steam and that after doing 170 movies, he does not need to do a movie which has vulgarity as it’s theme. Well Kakaji, You might have been drunk all through this one, but it sure as hell sounds like you have!

Wafaa has Rajesh Khanna playing a Thailand based multi-millionaire who is being stalked by a sex-starved air-hostess for his wealth. Add Rakhi’s brother to that equation and it sounds like a 90’s hiked up budget soft-porn movie with Rajesh Khanna in it! Wow that sure is a first

K Jo and Yashji Take It Up A Notch

Bollywood’s Billy Bob and Angelina Jolie, Yashji andK Jo have taken their forbidden love to the next level thisDiwali. Karan was presented with a trophy for the ten sexually confused years of association with Yashraj Studios.

What makes this gesture even more special is that the trophy was designed by Yashji himself!! And so, K Jo is on cloud nine now, with more faith in his baked good of a film making brain than ever before.
In an industry of ever changing equations, Karan claims that his relationship with Yashji has always been constant. In keeping with their F.Y.J.C lovers profile, they call each other everyday and have even gone as far as picking out nick names for each other!! Karan calls himUncle Y and Yashji calls him Karan Uncle. Kinky.

In an attempt to play down their alleged relationship, Uncle Y is looking for a bride for Karan!! It remains to be seen which unfortunate specimen bites this bullet. The day it happens, Karan will really have his hands full. Yashji on one side, Shah Rukh on the other, and an illegal Russian Tranny in the middle!! Just the kind of love triangle that Karan can get on board with.

Romeo Gets a Cold Shoulder

Lovebirds, Saif and Kareena who together lent their voices for Yash Raj Films’ foray into animation, Roadside Romeohave been missing entirely from the film’s promotional do’s. Bebo has been promoting her other Diwali release Golmaal Returns, while the Chotte Nawab has just been totally unavailable.

Roadside Romeo is a joint venture between Yashraj and Walt Disney Pictures and is one of the first major animation releases in the country. Both production houses have high hopes riding on it.

Saifeena’s absence from the promotional events has been equated to the dying clout of YashRaj Productions at the Box-Office as none of their movies have made a dent there for a while now and the fact that both of them have only lent their voices to their movie and hence don’t feel so deeply connected with it.

The director Jugal Hansraj is then the lone soldier trying his best to get the movie watched. You’ll need to try harder boy!

Hrithik On Holiday

Hrithik Roshan went on holiday for the first time in five years recently. He and his wife Suzanne took off for Bora Bora, leaving their two resentfu kids with gramps, Rakesh Roshan. The absconding parents claimed to have done some “crazy things” while they were there.

And what might that be Hrithik? Ambushed the unsuspecting island dwellers with your four hour Prozac trip of a period film, Jodhaa Akbar? Ordered some fancy food and tipped hundred percent? Drank wine straight from the bottle? I hate to break this to you, but you aren’t exactly the most adventurous couple in scene. Playing sports doesn’t count. We all play sports.

Anyway, this holiday was taken in order to wind down after shooting forKites. I can’t imagine what that movie’s going to be like. Hrithik in the lead, grandpa Roshan behind the lens, a hot Mexican actress as a co-star; no wonder the elements sent Hurricane Ike to put it out of it’s misery.

Aamir Opens Up

Bollywood’s once Filmfare boycotting, Narmada saving, indie cinema hugging actor, Aamir Khan, has gone through a radical change of stance over the last couple of years. He’s now welcoming media attention with open arms.

We first saw signs of Aamir starting to toe the celebrity line when he started his blog. Then he went on to hard sell his nephew Imraan Khan before the launch of his debutJaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, he now wants to create a website so that he can keep in touch with media persons!! He wants journalists to go onto the site and upload their photos in order for him to remember where he met them and what he said.

He claims this will allow him to offer some more personal input rather than bark out generic intense guy remarks like “My private life is my business” or “I don’t like to comment on other actors“. And who can forget such gems as, “She’s just a friend” or “I don’t even have the video facility on my phone“. Yes, times are a-changing. So what’s next Aamir? Bigg Boss perhaps?

Sallu’s Fresh Kat-ch

There’s only one thing worse than watching Salman andKatrina publicly crucify their filmi future together on-screen and that’s watching Salman play uncle-feels-me-up with some 21 year old newcomer who looks just like Katrina.

The woman in question, Zarina Khan, was first added to Sallu’s shopping cart when she filled in as a body double for Katrina on the sets of Yuvvraaj. And so, just as he had done with Sneha Ullal (the Aishwarya look-alike) Sallu’s sniffed out the opportunity to have his firni and eat it too with Zarina and cast her in his next film.

To add momentum to the ferris wheel of unfulfilled fantasies that is Sallu’s life, director and bottom-feeder, Subhash Ghai has complimented his “eye for talent”. If Sallu has an eye for talent, Jack The Ripper had an eye for social reformation. Salman’s job is further simplified by the fact that Zarina stays in Bandra. It’s only a matter of time before he takes on another godfather role and adds to his infamous history of indecent proposals and Bollywood IOU’s.