K Jo Cuts Loose

John Abraham and Abhishek Bachchan left little to the imagination recently while shooting at Miami Beach for Karan Johar’s latest peek out of the closet, Dostana. The two Sunday actors have to play gay for a couple of scenes and by the looks of things, are discovering new things about themselves everyday.

K Jo claims that after the success of such offbeat flicks such as Taare Zameen Par (yea, that one’s really out of hand), the Indian audiences are finally ready for this sort of display. He goes on to bite the hand that feeds him by saying that all romantic movies need not end in trains pulling away from European stations. Blasphemy! Yashji must be turning over in his astro-turf mustard field as we speak.

Anyway, the changing trends have finally allowed K Jo to show flashes of his creative samadhi in Dostana. For the greater good of humankind, I hope the ball stops here. Giving him any more freedom is not an option. The last thing we want to see is an all male Bollywood version of Dirty Dancing.

Chetan Ban Gaya Scripwriter

Chetan Bhagat is at it again. Why? Maybe even the almighty God doesn’t know. The author is penning a script for Ashtavinayak Films, the production house that gave us super-hits like Golmaal and Jab We Met and super duds like Kidnap and Super Star.

Why is he doing this? Hasn’t he seen the disaster that is ‘Hello’?

Someone should sit him down and give him a lecture on his writing skills. True he wrote one good book- Five Point Someone (which btw is being adapted to a silver screen version, ‘Three Idiots’ by Raju Hirani). Everything he’s written after that has been a disgrace to the name of literature!

Some may argue that One Night was a commercial success. Ask any literary critic and you will find a million reasons why the book is bad. As for ‘Three Mistakes of My Life’, let’s just say that was the biggest mistake of Bhagat’s life.

On the other hand, maybe he’ll prove us all wrong by writing a brilliant screenplay. For the sake of Indian Cinema, let’s hope he does…

Now That’s a Happy New Year…

Wanna ring in the New Year full-on Bollywood ishtyle? Head over to the J W Marriot at Juhu. Unless you’re super-rich, this is one party that’ll burn a deep hole into your pockets. If you can afford to buy an entry into the party, you can ring in the new year with none other than Bollytown bombshell Katrina Kaif.

Yup, Kat has signed on to perform at the classy Marriot hotel. For one night she being paid… … ONE CRORE! All she has to do is shake her booty to a few of her popular numbers.

With this she joins the ranks of Bipasha Basu and Malaika Arora Khan who have performed at the Marriot New Year bash in previous years. And how can one forget Mallika Sherawat who famously walked off stage when she found the media present at the gig.

Wonder if Sallubhai has already bought himself a pass?

A Ban On Fashion?

What’s a movie without it’s share of controversy? And when it’s a Madhur Bhandarkar project, you can expect controversies galore. His latest venture, Fashion has already been the focus of many a gossip, debate and discussion at the fashion week. After all the industry would be worried about their celluloid portrayal.

Meanwhile, the Delhi Commission for Women has issued a notice to UTV and Bhandarkar, threatening to ban the movie. It seems Kangana ‘blabbermouth’ Ranaut revealed that her character in the movie is heavily derived from the life of erstwhile supermodel Geetanjali Nagpal. Geetanjali was the ex-supermodel who was found begging on the streets of Delhi. She is now under the care of DCW.

It seems that the DCW would like to see the movie before it releases so that it can remove any objectionable scenes. Correct me if I’m wrong, I thought that was the Censor Board’s job!

KSBKBT To End

My ears have heard the most heartening news today after a terribly violent day with MNS activists giving India a glimpse of how over-aged post-teen punks function. This news is not about Raj Thackeray being imprisoned for life, but about the root cause of the changed equation between the saas and bahus in India.

After the young turned old, the old turned young, the living went dead, the dead came alive and the immortal baa finally turned 2000 years old, Ekta Kapoor’s haywire marathon which got the entire country hooked is finally going to end. 10th November is the day when every one who has believed in logic and the art of story telling will breathe lighter.

Thank God!

Poor Little Ritchie Guy

Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage has not only hit rough waters, it is literally falling from the skies it once looked suspended in. After Guy blamed Madonna’s age-bending four hour workout sessions and the exhaustion they caused to be one of the reasons for their split, Madonna has called the British movie director a ‘gold-digger’ and a cruel and neglectful husband.

Guy on the other hand is accusing Madonna of spying on him ever since their decision to split has been made public. The details of his meeting to discuss the divorce has been leaked to Madonna, even his dining session with his father and sister was not spared by her watchful eyes.

With Madonna’s fierce PR machinery firing round after round, there is going to be no chance of the two of them having an amicable departure from each others lives. The world is already waiting to watch where this one goes… might lead to World War III perhaps!

Anees plus 12

Anees Bazmi is currently working on a movie called It’s My Life with the glorious Harman, who has been brought back to the summer of 69 from 2050 exclusively for this project. He will be acting across bubble-gum pop pin-up (who thankfully lives in the present), Genelia D’Souza.

Anees now wants to make a movie he has not titled yet with a cast of six heroines and (well here’s the supposedly unexpected twist) six villains! Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt and Akshaye Khanna have been finalised to play the villains in the movie. The rest of the cast is still to be worked out. All of the six baddies will be sporting different looks so people can manoeuvre their way around this clutter.

This movie, like the host of others we’re being badgered with, will be a slapstick and mindless action comedy and is definitely going to test the date management skills of the production house. I cannot be really sure about anything else.

Amrita and Shaq-ill

Amrita Arora’s relationship with beau Shakeel Ladak (who works ofr a construction agency), has gone a step further. Shakeel took Amrita to meet her parents. This whole meeting has happened courtesy of Shakeel’s ex-wife, who believes Amrita has snatched her husband from her. This news reached Amu’s ears and she sobbed bitterly as she could not bear the allegations.

Shakeel hooked up a surprise party for Amrita to cheer her up at his place. Riteish Deshmukh with Farhan Akhtar, Atul and Alvira Agnihotri, Sohail, Arbaaz and Malaika Arora Khan attended the little party. The only one missing was Amu’s best friend Kareena, who was out shooting in Delhi.

Shakeel repeatedly told Amrita that she has done a good job in Hello and numerous other movies after which she calmed down and the gang partied till the early hours of morning.

Now that Amu’s done getting hyper about Shakeel’s ex-wife, we wonder what would be the case if all of Amu’s ex’s started doing their rounds of the Bandra café’s… Oprah style.

Priyanka meets Antonio

Priyanka Chopra recently attended the Middle East International Film Festival to promote her upcoming release - Fashion, which ultimately did not end up being there as the post-production on the film was not complete. While she was there, she bumped into Antonio Banderas, who Priyanka says spoke very warmly with her.

Whats more? Antonio was even well-versed with the ways of the Bollywood film industry and all the fat pay cheques Indian stars have been taking home.

Antonio and Priyanka watched the screening of the first movie at the festival together and he even showed keen interest in being paired opposite Priyanka. When asked if this was one of her plans to go international, Priyanka replied that the language does not matter to her and that the film could be in Hindi, English or Punjabi and it would all be the same for her.

Global Handwash Day

Lifebuoy has kick-started another mindless day to create awareness about well… washing hands! The day in complete dance move perfection is called the Global Handwash Day. We have all been a part of various mindless public activities which have done nothing more than procure some socially driven publicity, but this one is just shooting funny through the roof.

Lifebouy is the newest to jump into the ‘lets have a day about it’ bandwagon. They got Farah Khan, who just gave birth to triplets and realized how many kids under 5 actually die, & Yuvraj Singh to tell us the importance of washing our hands clean. The reason for all this is because a lot of children under 5 from poor communities do not wash their hands with lifebuoy regularly, which leads to diarrhoea, pnuemonia and other ailments. This kills 41 children every 60 minutes worldwide.

Now this sounds exactly like a 30 second commercial Lifebouy has been airing for God knows how many years, the figures and statistics in the meanwhile have only gone up the cruve. Can’t make a day about it can you?

AB is all well and itching

There’s good news for all the Big B fans. The superstar is recovering well and will be at his best soon. His family however would like him to stay put in the confines of Lilavati hospital till he completely recovers. They say that the 66 year old baby cannot be controlled once he is out and there is no stopping the constant flow of visitors who keep seeking him everyday. Amitabh, they say has still not learnt the art to say the much needed “no.”

Big B in the meanwhile is already keen on resuming work and is quite excited. He is particularly interested in starting work for Chandraprakash Dwivedi’s The Legend of Kunal, where he is alongside Tabu. A host of other films too are just waiting for him to come out of the hospital.

At this level of the industry’s fascination with him, we won’t be surprised if his body is preserved long after he is dead to be used just because it is so cool to have him around all the time! A movie starring the Big B in 2050! I hope not.

Humble Himesh

Himesh has bared it all to Zoom before the release of his much anticipated remake of 80’s hit Karzzz, The channel served him everything vegetarian and tandoori one can find on the streets of Mumbai. Himesh reciprocated by telling all the truth about himself. The song Tandoori Nights, he said was centered around his midnight food cravings as the T-series diet-plan barred him from eating anything much at all.

Sonu Niigaam when queried about the difference between him and Himesh some days back answered, “My hair is real.” Himesh in complete humility agreed to this and said his latest without-the-cap look is all because of hair extensions and transplants.

The extra Z’s in the title too were put so that it would be numerologically fit into Himesh’s lucky karmic space. He even thanked Urmila for working with a newbie like him.

With so much humility leaking from his nasal trap, I guess the film might just be a really humbling experience for the viewers and Himesh is hoping to repay the loan by being as mentally naked as possible.

Rimii’s Outfit Issues

Over the last couple of years, Rimii Sen has proved to be more than capable of hanging around in Bollywood without ever making any impression whatsoever. We had more or less forgotten about her completely until she forced her way into the news with her latest heretical vision concerning Horn Ok Pleasss.

In a movie where she plays a conservative middle-class woman, Rimii is moaning about the lack of short skirts and body-hugging tops for her character. I don’t know which Beverly Hills 90210 outtake you seem to be getting all your relevant information from Rimi, but you might want to look around from time to time. If you spot some conservative Aunty checking her ass out at Mango, do write in.

But the real reason behind this outburst isn’t as simple as ignorance; it has more to do with the fact that her co-star, Shaurya is getting to play a temptress and parade around in (among other skimpy outfits) a bikini in the film. Rimii, who wants to treat every movie like a 2 AM women’s liberation parade on Park Street, is feeling insecure about the whole thing. She claims to look like an amma in the movie, while Shaurya steals the limelight. Ok, just a little heads-up Rimii; the next time you decide to ink your thumb and press it down on the contract, take a good look at the f***ing script!

Cello and the Kat

Katrina has worked really hard to make her character in Yuuvraj look authentic. She plays a classical cellist in the movie and went all the way to Austria to learn the cello. She took lessons in Salzburg which is the birthplace of classical music legend Mozart. Katrina is feeling really proud of herself for being able to play the cello. She says the focus was more on getting the right body language as nobody is really going to hear her cello in the movie anyway, but has managed to strike the right chords and and sync with the groove. Katrina adds that she was really jealous of musicians who could play musical instruments and make lovely music. Now after having learnt a little bit of the craft, her demon has been terminally silenced. While Subhash Ghai and Anil Kapoor were really supportive of her trying to learn the cello, Salman who well is known to do anything really, kept telling her that it wasn’t difficult and he could do it “just like that”. Yeah sure…!

Minissha sizzles in Maxim

Prepare yourselves for October heat as Minissha Lamba has officially joined the hottie brigade. She is now on the cover of Maxim. It can never be more pronounced than this can it? First it was Soha Ali Khan that stunned us all and now Minissha has followed her example.

She is looking smoking hot and I am sure this Diwali issue will sell for two months at least. This is quite a transformation from studying in an all girl college and aspiring to be a journalist, but not so much from the pink Bachna Ae Haseeno and thrilling Kidnap. No one is complaining anyway. Cheers for the local warming!

Click here to view the pics

Soha Dating Kunal Khemu

After spending a record couple of weeks on on the Singles Area couch, Soha Ali Khan has jumped back into the game with her new man and generic sensitive, understanding, rebound-catcher, Kunal Khemu. Soha’s previous relationship with Rang De Basanti actor, Siddharth seems to have taken a turn for the worst some time ago which left her heart-broken and somewhat confused.

Who better to capitalize on confusion than Kunal Khemu! His acting’s been confusing me ever since he arrived in Bollywood. As luck would have it, Kunal and Soha signed two movies together after her break-up, and it was only a matter of time before the two took a walk on the wild side.

The young couple was seen at a Journey To The Centre Of The Earth show at Fun Republic, an evening which I’m sure stirred the very depths of their pools of intellect and emotion. What’s funny is that the press claims that they got away before any flashbulbs could go off! What do you mean they got away?? What are they, X-Men? Jedi Knights? Ugesh Sarcar in one of his delusional fantasies? All you’ve got to do is click one stupid button before they enter or leave.

Tanushree gets chucked

Tanushree Dutta is not having an easy time these days. It started with the problem she had shooting with Nana Patekar for an item song in Horn Ok Please. She was immediately replaced by Rakhi Sawant. Saas Bahu and Sensex too hit the knee with five people seen loitering in the cinema halls contemplating doing something really harsh and illegal inside to keep the entertainment flowing.

Now we hear, she has been chucked out of Run Bhola Run, ( Run Lola Run?? Anyone?) because she threw a tantrum on the sets. Tanushree was apparently really unhappy with the production company and she made the unit members suffer. They of course did not take very kindly to this and she was replaced after just two hours worth of shooting. Her replacement was none other than the pin-up girl for gay rights movement, Celina Jaitley.

Tanushree and Celina also happen to be really good friends. I wonder what this would do to their friendship…

Amitabh hospitalised

Amitabh Bachchan has finally reached his breaking point. He has worked himself beyond exhaustion. On his 66th birthday the superstar was rushed to the hospital after he complained of stomach pains.

Many say the cause of this could be due to his various professional commitments. Everyone has been warning him to take it easy but he shows no signs of slowing down. Big B is currently working on three movies Alladin, Teen Patti and Shoe Bite besides planning an Indian leg of The Unforgettable tour.

Mr. Bachchan has had quite a few burnouts in his career right from a stunt scene that got real on the sets of Coolie, to being hospitalised for over-exhaustion a couple of years ago and none of them have been able to stop him from doing what he wants to do.

Well-wishers have praying for his well being. The craziest include classical art veterans, Birju Maharaj and Girija Devi, who stopped their concert for five minutes to pray for the icons.

Sonam’s fashion disaster

Sonam Kapoor and her dhoti-inspired clothes have left the nation wondering what happened to the shy, timid and usually sensibly-dressed girl. Well, this is the outcome of a budding friendship with designer Anamika Khanna.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that Anamika made Sonam the face of her luxury collection for the Indian Couture week and made Sonam walk the ramp wearing her most hideous design with boots (tacky!), she’s all set to design the actress’s wardrobe for her upcoming film Dilli 6.

Poor Sonam is so delusional that she actually wore one of Anamika’s creations to the Drona premiere.

Of course when asked about these designs (if you can even call them that), Anamika is quick to say that this is a Sonam-inspired line designed keeping the personality of the actor in mind and it took her more than six months to complete all the outfits.

A brainwashed Sonam seems to think that Anamika’s designs have a strong influence of Indian heritage, craftsmanship and adaptations of various Indian handicraft. Well, yes Sonam, a dhoti is definitely part of the Indian heritage… this is worse than Rocky S’s sari-inspired outfits for The Pussycat Dolls. But at least they looked smokin’ hot in those contraptions!

Adhyayan in Jail?

Adhyayan Suman’s flailing career is a major cause of concern for girlfriend Kangana Ranaut. Hence, she has taken matters into her own hands. She’s now trying to exploit her newly established acquaintanceship with Madhur Bhandarkar. Despite being sidelined in her own movie (Fashion) she’s decided that Madhur Bhandarkar’s upcoming movie Jail is just what her beau needs to kick-start his career.

The disaster that was Haal-e-Dil did nothing for the Suman kid. In fact it probably lowered his stock, cause he’s gone from playing leading man to sidekick. Madhur has already cast Neil Nitin Mukesh and Prateik Babbar in the leading roles, but is still looking for someone who fits the bill for the third key role.

Poor Adhyayan, with a dad like Shekar Suman, he has probably been the butt of one too many jokes. And if that joker couldn’t give his beta that much-needed shove, there’s no way girlfriend Kangana is going to make a dent. It’s like the blind leading the deaf. Kangana was actually left out of her own movie’s poster and Priyanka Chopra is in the spotlight for Fashion. Barely anyone remembers that Kangana and Mugdha are in that move. Does she really think she is capable of shaping someone else’s career? Adhyayan, hire yourself an agent right now!

Shilpa walks out

The cinema and television workers’ 2-day strike this week found an unusual victim in Shilpa Shetty. Other film folk stayed away for an impromptu holiday while Shilpa Shetty made her way to the Bigg Boss studio from Singapore, unaware of what was happening back home. She waited all day to shoot since it was a very crucial eviction. But in the end Sambhavna had to be evicted sans Shilpa. Now that the strike is over and everything is back to normal, Shilpa was able to be part of Payal’s eviction this week.

Here I thought Shilpa’s absence was just another starry tantrum. You can’t really blame me. Shilpa pulls stunts like this all the time. Just the other day at a press meet for Cloud 9, a new energy drink that Shilpa endorses, the press went wild trying to get a little air time with the actress. But instead of giving them an interview, what did that lady do? That’s right, she walked out. Apparently, the security assigned was outweighed by the amount of press that showed up. In the quest to get to Shilpa, a female reporter got man-handled between the cameramen and security. Hence Shilpa staged a walk-out. At least she had an excuse this time.

Clash of the Divas

Mark your calenders people. October 29^th is going to be the clash of the divas. Madhur Bhandarkar’s Fashion and Sanjay Khandelwal’s The World of Fashion are both slated to release on the same date.

This is even bigger than July 4^th when Aamir Khan and Harry Baweja released Jaane tu and Lovestory 2050 together. Here both the movies are based on the same topic: the Indian fashion industry. In one corner we have Madhur Bhandarkar backed by his somewhat successful films, Page 3 and Corporate. And in the other corner we have Sanjay Khandelwal whose family business is film distribution.

While Madhur’s movie follows Priyanka Chopra’s (a small town girl) character’s rise to supermodel status, Sanjay Khandelwal’s movie traces the journey of a small town designer who comes to Mumbai to make it big. The cast of Fashion is relatively well known, Priyanka and Kangana are household names and Mugdha is an established model. The World of Fashion features newcomers Amrita Prakash, Priti Soni, Reema Ramchandani, Meghana Govil and one TV actor Ejaz Khan.

It’s just stupid of Sanjay Khandelwal to assume he’ll come out of this alive. An established director with a well known attractive cast wins over a family in film distribution.

Karisma Kapur enters the Gallery of India’s 10 most stylish

Karisma Kapur is all set to grace the cover of October’s Hello. It marks her exclusive entry into India’s top 10 most stylish out of work actresses! Most celebrities grace magazine covers with exclusives after they’ve been involved in some sort of scandal. I was kinda hoping this cover signified the end of her five year hiatus and return to Bollywood, but no such luck. Karisma recently turned down Rahul Dholakia’s Lamha. A role that was perfect for her has now gone to Bipasha Basu.

However, Karisma says, “I have said this before and I am saying it again. When I feel the time is right and I hear a script where my gut instinct tells me that this is the right role, then I will do it.”

Both Karisma and Kareena are in the best shape of their lives. Although Kareena has been receiving a lot of flack for losing too much weight, Karisma seems to be enjoying her newly acquired sophisticated looks. Recently, the actress scorched the ramp when she walked for Manav Gangwani at the HCIL couture week. Guess this really does mark her arrival. Fashionably late, I must say.

Click here to view Karisma’s photo gallery

K Jo’s Oscar attempt

By now everyone is probably aware that Aamir Khan’s Taare Zameen Par is India’s official entry for this year’s Oscars. Walt Disney has acquired the DVD rights for this movie, the first ever for any Indian movie. This might have been the first time Aamir tried his hand at directing, but then again most things that Aamir touches turn into gold.

Karan Johar on the other hand has been directing a different kind of successful film. Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna have not won international accolades but they have been crowd-pleasers back home. It could be Karan’s amazing directorial ability that made these movies what they are or it could just be Shah Rukh Khan. But now Karan is older, wiser and ready for his Oscar (or at least nomination). He says that venturing into new territory and tapping into the right tone is a challenge he looks forward to taking on.

My Name is Khan, his latest venture, has SRK in the lead (obviously) playing Rizvan Khan. The protagonist in the film suffers from Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning Autism) and Shibani Bhatija, the screenplay writer of the film, has researched this disorder very accurately. Poor thing Shah Rukh is going to be portraying it, she needn’t have made such an effort. The message that runs right through the film is in strong support of humanity.

Unlike dyslexia, a learning disorder related to reading and spelling which has no physical symptoms, people affected with Aspergers display physical clumsiness and an atypical use of language. Shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for Shah Rukh.

So far, this does sound like a unique venture for K Jo and SRK. But they’ve forgotten a very crucial element which is what made Taare Zameen Par. A cute eight-year-old kid.

No kissing zone

Sanjay Gadhvi, known to make people kiss on-screen despite some heavy duty opposition has let one pass. Remember the Aishwarya Rai-Hrithik Roshan lip-lock in Dhoom 2? If you really liked watching that, you should thank Mr. Sanjay Gadhvi who fought the combined weight of the Bachchan clan to make it happen.

The same Mr. Gandhvi has fallen short of his promise this time though, his new movie Kidnap was to have a kissing scene between Sanju baba and Vidya Malvade, it was being talked about for quite a while. Mr. Gadhvi even affirmed that the scene was really well shot and that Sanjay and Vidya looked good in the frame.

Kidnap released a few days back and has received a critical thumbs down. The kissing scene is nowhere to be seen. A lot of people seem to think Manyata who has been controlling Sanju like a snake charmer with a flute could be behind this unsteamy deletion.

Sanjay Gadhvi however maintains that during the screenings, a lot of people were of the opinion that the much talked about scene was ‘hampering the pace of the movie’.

WHAT!!? No wait wait, once more WTF!?

K Jo and Aditya Chopra On The Same Track

K Jo and Aditya Chopra On The Same Track I have bad news and worse news today. I’m going to start with the bad news. Bollywood smurfs, Karan Johar and Aditya Chopra are planning to make films which do not revolve around either a love triangle or a long shot of a bullet train in Switzerland.

These two candy-floss film-makers will be attempting to branch out with these movies and show the world just how incapable they are of making anything beyond one-dimensional love sagas. Now for the worse news. They have both individually lifted the script for their films from the same Hollywood movie, Arlington Road! And so the two friends are set to make the same film with different actors, each with their own rotten, Full House inspired twist.

The whole situation is shameful, not to mention ominous. The last thing I want to see is a remake of Arlington Road by Thelma and Louise over here. The big question now is whether one will pull out of this venture and make way for the other.

Uday and Tanishaa together again

The gruesome twosome are back together… yes we’re talking about Uday Chopra, the guy whose acting career never went anywhere after Chopra family’s initial stint of hard selling him and Tanishaa his partner on similar lines.

They hit it off on the sets of Neal n Nikki and were going strong and steady, until rumours of Tanishaa being involved with Upen Patel surfaced. The rumours happened at a time when both these chicklets were all geared to exchange engagement rings.

Uday never managed to get over Tanishaa and was always sending her flowers. Tanishaa only bought one recently and Uday happily took her on a reconciliation vacation abroad where they spent some real quality
time together. This helped them get back together again. I hope this works out for Uday. I also hope he does not want to take this journey he has had to the silver screen.

Ash: The guiding light!

Drona has critically been declared the big budget blunder for this year. A small success story in the shape of Aishwarya’s outfit for the Drona premiere has emerged. Aishwarya apparently wore a marine blue dress, alongside Abhishek who only wears tuxedos. She looked stunning and was applauded for her choice of clothing which on some occasions in the past has not been so befitting.

Aishwarya, however had a bigger reason for wearing a beautiful dress. The colour marine blue it seems matched the shade of the feather in the movie which is supposed to be Abhishek’s guiding light in Drona. Major attention to detail I tell you… the guys at Pixar are proud of your feat Ash.

Kareena Goes Online

At some point in their meaningless lives, every Bollywood actress slips on a beret and standing in front of a mirror, believes that she has magically been turned into a fashion guru. The latest delusional clown to fall into this trap is none other than actress and Caesars Salad enthusiast, Kareena Kapoor.

As if seeing her prance around on-screen wasn’t bad enough, she is now starting her own website dedicated to fashion. She will be showcasing both her style fashion statements as well as what trends are on the upswing around the globe.

She will soon be joining the every growing e-bandwagon of stars including Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan and Aishwarya Rai who all somehow think that we really want to know what goes on under the dark clouds of bourbon that they call their better judgement. The ball doesn’t stop there though. This website is only the first step of the obscene ladder that will finally lead to her own brand of clothes or mercifully, if the power of prayers actually exists, death by celery.

Salman banned

It’s the weekend now and Drona has droned on since Wednesday. Now that was a very interesting premiere. Did anyone notice the significant absence of the ‘Khan’dan?Shah Rukh Khan was there with his wife, brats and tail,Karan Johar, in tow. But none of the other Khans made their presence felt. Well Salman was away in London but that doesn’t mean the rest of the Khans had to be left out of the festivities. Apparently Salman and company weren’t even invited.

How could this have happened? Aishwarya, the whole reason behind the show down at Kat’s party was you. Sallu was defending your honour and you side with SRK? And that husband of yours…. Salman is painting a portrait of him…. is this the gratitude y’all show in return?

Shah Rukh, was personally invited to the premiere by the Bachchans, but Salman’s family didn’t even get free tickets? Forget personalised gold-encrusted invites. Guess the Bachchans don’t see the similarity between Ash and Helen, both are the faces that launched very different battles. Well, now we know where the Bachchan loyalty lies.

Lucky Salman is chilling in London with new good friend Asin. So his alibi is rock-solid and he doesn’t really have to feel bad, but the rest of the Khans 

Shama eats Bhajji

Shama Sikandar and Harbhajan Singh have had a tiff on Colors reality dance show Ek Khiladi Ek Haseena. Shama, who has been the judges’ favourite so far did not take it well when Mona Singhand Harbajan scored higher in the audience rating.

Shama took it upon herself to coax the audience into sending more votes her way. Harbhajan and Mona Singh on the other hand may not be the judges’ favorite, but they definitely have a bigger fan base. When Shama indulged in such dirty tactics to win, it sparked a warp neuron in Harbhajan’s head and he thought Shama was launching a personal attack against him. He shot from his mouth and through all the bleeped-out Indian expletives I gather he was saying that Shama should not be so insensitive towards competition.

Shama retorted that all four of them should stick to dancing, since Ek Khiladi Ek Haseena is a dance show. Her partner Vinod Kambli agreed. Now you have to admire this woman’s guts. Bhaji is the same character who slapped Sreesanth and made him cry during the IPL tournament. I wouldn’t dare mess with him.

What happened next is completely cinematic. Harbhajan shut his over-talkative mouth for once and has kept quiet since then. What happened Bhajji? Guess his mama taught him to never hit girls

Akki’s Hollywood Connections

Sajid Nadiawala’s going all out to make sure that his next movie, Kambakht Ishq shoots to fame for being the only Bollywood movie in which not one, not two, but three Hollywood stars have been a part of it’s pointless storyline.

After roping in Denise Richards and Sylvester Stallone, he has now gotten Superman Returns star, Brandon Routh to play a role in the film. What’s more is that he and Akshay have really taken a shine to each other and were seen bonding like the Olsen twins at a beer festival.

Both the actors performed their own stunts for the movie, which included jumping off a building together. This of course came as a huge shock to Brandon, who had no idea that Bollywood stars do their own stunts sometimes. What else shocked you there Brandon, that we have roads and not slaves forming a human chain under the Maharaja’s feet? How about the fact that we don’t only speak ‘Indian’? What did you expect? Pet snakes? Genies? Anil Kapoor action figures?

Smokin’ Hot Minissha

Minissha Lamba is the latest to join the bikini bandwagon. It has taken her awhile to get there since she seems to be partial to cutie pie roles the latest beingBachna ae Hasseno , it’s no wonder that everyone doubted she could ever carry off a sexy avtaar. All of this has changed after her bikini sequence in Kidnap and a new hair crop. She is now being called smokin’ hot, by those same wasted cheerleaders who doubted her sex appeal quotient.

It took her six months of rigorous workouts and a meticulously planned diet to accomplish this feat. Taking a leaf out of other smokin’ hot bikini babes (read: Bipasha, Aishwarya and Kareena) shaping up efforts really helped her a lot. Minissha calls this a one-time affair which means we might not see her in a bathing suit again?! She has denied that wearing a bikini helps up the career graph for women in Bollywood but agrees that offers have been following her much more regularly now.

Shah Rukh Shows Up At Drona Premiere

I know I’ve said this before, but Abhishek Bachchan’sDrona is proving to be the proverbial fruit basket that he’s sending to all the people he’s fallen out with over the years in the industry. After trying to rope in Raj Thackerey and the Kapoor sisters, the latest victim in this no holds barred display of last-ditch diplomacy is none other than chain-smoker and Johar junkie, Shah Rukh Khan.

His shock appearance at the event made it clear that the animosity between him and Junior B was a thing of the past. Moreover, it was also made very clear that there’s nothing Shah Rukh loves more than making small talk with the first family of Bollywood on a Thursday night.

By showing up at the Drona premiere, SRK also smoothed things over with Ash. The two of them had fallen out afterChalte Chalte when Sallu gave ‘inappropriate sexual deviancy’ a new meaning by showing up on the sets of the movie and creating a rucus. But from the look of things yesterday, the long cold war between SRK and the Bachchans has ended. So now, there’s only one stone left to upturn. (Rick Flair/Nature Boy music begins)… SALLU!

Imraan swims with the sharks

Imraan Khan, the chocolate boy from Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is quite an adrenaline junkie. During the filming of Kidnap, he had refused to let a body double do a stunt which involved jumping off a twelve storey building and he relented only after the combined persuasive efforts of Sanju Baba and Mamu Jaan Aamir. He may not have had his way then, but he has managed to escape the two of the and swam with the sharks for Soham Shah’s Luck.

Imran shot the scene in Durban, South Africa and had to undergo special training in scuba diving for it. Soham like a good director cum insurance company executive suggested Imraan use a body double, but with no Sanju Baba and Mamu Jaan around to keep tabs on him, Imraan went for the kill in a controlled environment with authorised scuba diving experts to supervise and came back a winner.

Junior B Woos The Kapoors

After burying the hatchet with Raj Thackerey, the Kapoor sisters seem to be next on Junior B’s hit-list. In an attempt to let bygones be bygones, Abhishek has invited the two sisters for the premiere of Drona… the very same ploy he used for Raj. Whether or not this monumental gesture of undying friendship is going to work remains to be seen, but let us just trace the warped history between the Bachchans and the Kapoors. Abhishek and Karisma Kapoor were engaged at one point. But Karisma’s better judgement prevailed before the two took their Barbara Streisand Karaoke Night of a relationship to the next level. Ever since then, the ties between the two Bollywood khandans has been somewhat strained. As for Kareena; she and Abhishek debuted together in the insufferable, Refugee and embarrassed themselves again in Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon. But everything seems to have boiled over now. In any case, the release of Abhishek’s new movie, Drona, is around the corner and will need all the support it can get. The only people stupid enough to actually sit through Goldie Behl’s nightmare are the Kapoors and the rest of their brain-dead Bollywood gang, who’ll hold on to any piece of a shared past with Abhishek like it’s a K-Mart discount coupon.

Kim Sharma dating Israeli diplomat

Kim Sharma’s taste in men seems to be getting worse. After a failed romance with Yuvraj Singh (which many say failed because his mom couldn’t relate to Kim), she has now latched on to an unsuspecting firangi diplomat Oren Gahaly. Two of them have been hanging around at the city’s various hot spots and behaving like eighth grade lovers in free period.

The man in question, Oren Gahaly is an Israeli Diplomat who’s visiting India on business. Kim who has been lusting after a groom after her chaddi buddy and one hit wonder Preeti Jhangiani tied the knot with Parvin Dabbas, thinks he is the one. And so, she has been religiouly following him around like a Colaba Causeway shopkeeper before he departs to do some more serious work back home in Israel. I hope this one does not have a mom who can think, and takes this damsel in distress far far away, never to bring her back!

Kareena to produce more waste

Kareena Kapoor has taken to beau Saif Ali Khan not casting her in his production venture really seriously. After riding superbikes and making a lot of men drool, Kareena thinks she can do every thing Saif can, and has announced the launch of her own production company to draw the final nails on this huge B-town coffin we can do without.

Before this money manoeuvre, Kareena was heard saying she would like to open a Yoga training Institute and a school for the disabled. Those two ventures have not seen the light of the day. And well, just like we have have learned to say, charity can always wait till the time size zero feels full enough.

This new production company goes on floor sometime next year with Eros International already pitching their noses and word on what they think might be profitable. There are no points for guessing who will star in this commercial saga, Saif and Kareena will take their love affair to the silver screen yet again…

The Many Faces Of Arjun Rampal

After setting imaginary lighters ablaze with his hands-free guitar playing in Rock On!!, Arjun Rampal now claims to want to do a full-fledged action film. He’s worked in a string of different movies in the last year or so, with performances ranging from Om Shanti Om to Rock On!! to The Last Lear and would now like to branch out even further.

The model turned actor, who seems to always be brooding over something, was at the Zoom office yesterday discussing the various roles he’s pulled off while strumming either Hotel California or Sweet Child O’Mine to drive those time-warped employees into a nostalgic frenzy.

Whilst at the office, Arjun also got a chance to express his 1978 Rishi Kapoor starrer of an opinion on celebrity smokers. He said that it’s the companies or the individuals who should be censored instead. Now that we’ve heard his revolutionary view on an age-old debate, lets get back to acting. An action movie? Looks like Akki’s success is getting under everybody’s skin.

Even SRK’s making an action film (BIllo Barber) in an attempt to flex those construction site worker for ten years to many muscles that he’s acquired of late. So Arjun looks all set to make that film and dampen the mood with that trademark fat girl without a prom date expression of his.

Dhoni goes back to school

Mahendra Singh Dhoni, cricketer cum poster-boy is now interested in educating himself further. He is 28 years old and by this time in life most MBBS’s and CA’s too are through reading college books. Actually, most people these days hate college books at 18, and returning to them after you are the captain of the Indian Cricket ODI team sounds a little absurd.

Dhoni has enrolled himself in a course at Xavier’s College in Ranchi called Office Management and Secretarial Practice and says he wants to be treated just like a batch mate and not a celebrity, which I think is directly proportional to the amount of security he will take along for the lectures. He says he is even open to the idea of getting ragged too and will try and be as regular as he did not even bunk lectures in school ( no one’s allowed that!! ) plus you were not the captain of the cricket team then now were you?

The Principal of the college says that the course Dhoni has chosen is really easy and that even with the most hectic schedules, it should not be difficult to get done with. He is however really worried about the security issues that might result because of Dhoni’s celebrity stature.