Bachna Ae Audience

The secret is out. In what will go down as one of the most idiotic moves in the history of film promotion, the eve-teasers at Yashraj Films have confirmed the news that it won’t be Ranbir who walks away with all the spoils in Bachna Ae Haseeno. Kunal Kapoor, who seems to still be basking in Rang De Basanti glory, swoops in and bags Minissha Lamba.
There. Now you know.

The upcoming fatal sixteen car pile-up from the house of Yashraj is an adaptation of John Tucker Must Die. A real classic. As if this wasn’t enough to scare audiences into the dark corners of their houses, they’ve also given away a part of the movie. So what’s left? We now know that there’s neither a plot, nor any suspense. You have Ranbir romancing two girls. And songs. And some cheesy beach shots. Terrific.

I know we’ve been saying this for years Yashji, but maybe it’s time to shut shop. We’ve had enough of your sugary light-headed love convolutions to last seven lives. You’re just awful. And you’ve only got a few years left to redeem that Baskin Robbins Family Pack you have for a soul. Remember, the clock’s ticking.