The many lives of Arjun Rampal

Arjun Rampal has finally realized that he doesn’t have what it takes to cut it in the acting business. Of course, that didn’t stop the rest of Bollywood, but it’s nice to see that at least one guy’s accepted defeat and moved on. He now has three extra career options.

1) After shooting for Abhishek Kapoor’s ‘Rock On’, he seems to have learnt how to play air-guitar, and more importantly he’s mastered the really hard stuff - putting two fingers to his lips and air-kissing the crowd. If it doesn’t work out in Bollywood, he always has a job at such Meccas of music such as Goa Portuguesa and J. W. Marriott to fall back on.
2) His plan to set up a lounge-cum-dining bar in New Delhi, called LAP may take shape and allow him to spotlight his terrible sense of music there. LAP stands for ‘Lounge And Party’, a name that took not one but two minds to come up with. So let’s just black out the ‘creative arts’ tab in his career possibilities sheet.
3) And finally, his last and most frightening option - becoming a full-time director. As shocking as it sounds, Arjun has already worn the Bollywood Director’s dunce hat once for a movie
called I See You. I hope it never sees me.

But all said and done, Bollywood is India’s a**hole and will take in and pay whatever it can get. It’s the nature of the business. In fact, it’s reached an all-time low in recent times. They are now hiring people without skill or looks; the first moron who walks in gets roped in. If anyone doubts the truth of this statement just google Upen Patel; you’ll get what I’m talking about.