Asif we haven’t had enough

Sangamitra Chowdury has finally started working on her movie Mein Aur Meri Himmat. Just when I thought the industry had hit rock-bottom with people like Upen Patel being given work, who does she introduce to bollywood? Mohammed Asif. Yes, the ousted Pakistani bowler who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs has been cast in this crusade of bad-guy bashing and repressed sexuality. And guess who he’s replaced. It’s none other than Pakistan’s answer to Salman Khan, Shoaib Akhtar.

Shoaib (who’s been dreaming about a career in Bollywood ever since he and Sallu joined beds) began talks with the scriptwriter Payal Mehta eight months ago, through the Indian Premiere League phase. The crew working on this movie soon grew irritated with Shoaib’s total lack of professionalism and decided to replace him with fellow disgrace Mohammed Asif. I’m sure this will take its toll on the relationship between the two at some level and can only hope that they settle it with a fight to the death.

Don’t even get me started on what this movie’s going to be like. I’m still digesting the fact that Bollywood has run out of heroes and are now recruiting cricketers. Now that I come to think of it, cricket and Bollywood are the staples of an Indian lifestyle. It was only a matter of time before someone combined the two.