An Idiots guide to driving in India

Start your vehicles, revv up your engines, it’s time to get, set and drive around India! Things you should know, before you handle the gearbox:-

1) If you are from Amerika, we drive on the other side of the road, so if you see too many vehicles charging towards you, you know you are in India.

2) If you are driving a car and want to turn right, you may roll up your window about an inch down and put out your finger, index finger, to signal where you are headed! Yes, just the finger will do!

3) The green signal around the world means ‘GO’, here, it means ‘HONK THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF EVERYONE’. Mind you, ‘No Honking Day’ was invented for this very reason. And orange usually means slow down but here in India we believe if it isn’t red you might still make it.

4) You are on a long drive and you feel like taking a leak, don’t look for a Toilet sign…..everything except the roads can be pee’d on! And if you are regular, you might just find your ‘pee-partner’.

5) If your destination is 10 minutes away from where you are, WALK. Chances are you won’t find a parking place there!

6) Keep a Rs. 50 note always wrapped around your driving license, you’ll never know you’ll need it.

7) Short-Cut doesn’t mean ‘Detour’, it means ‘drive through here at your own risk, no government official will be held responsible for any damage done *Conditions Apply’

8) Always play ‘Kajra Re’ on your car stereo, the traffic police might just like it and may just let you go after you jump a signal! Any other Bollywood hit would also do!

9) Don’t act smart and try to get out of traffic via a short-cut, chances are you are not the only one thinking of doing that!

10) Finally, you are bound to get a stare from a fellow driver even if you are driving properly…..try it yourself, its fun!